Funny Matrimonial Advertisements

Here you can read most funny Matrimonial Ads, I bet you can’t stop laughing. Funny Matrimonial Ads (Real Fun) forward messages & jokes that you have read somewhere or received in email that are worth sharing!.

Salesman:

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car and successful career!

 

Drunker:

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered will carry me from bar to ghar-bar.

 

 

Politician:

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and to build upon past differences and short comings. I believe that we the people need someone to share our lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized society................. (etc etc and never getting to the point)

 

 

Doctor:

Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away from all sins be it anasin,metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good doctor with no side effects.

 

 

Beggar:

Allah ke nam pe koi ek biwi de de,
Doosre ki nahi to apni hi de de,
Allah tujhe ek ke badle do dega,
Hillary hogi to Monika bhi dega.

 

Fisherman:

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motor boat.

 

 

Mathematician:

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family unit.

 

 

 

Car Dealer:

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent working condition.

 

 

 

Business Man:

Wife wanted for company.

 

 

 

Lawyer:

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null and void in the event of failure on our part of any kind whatsoever.

 

Pilot:

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

 

 

Astronaut:

 

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!

 

 

Army Commando:

 

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.

 

Builder:

 

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

 

Farmer:

 

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.